Well... It's been nearly a week, and I think we're finally getting our heads adjusting to the idea that we won't be moving in to the beautiful house C had been in the process of buying. I'm trying to focus more on being a supportive and loving girlfriend while he's feeling so down on himself. To go from being on the brink of home ownership to being unemployed and therefore stuck in an apartment you hate is awful.
Since we've been expecting to be in a house this summer, the aparment has become a 'holding place' for everything. It's cluttered, and unorganized. A lot of things have been where they are since before we started dating a year and a half ago. C's decided to spend some of his time at home going through things and sorting. I'm going to focus on helping, and trying to make it a nice place to be. I'm not sure if I'll end up moving in or not- we'll probably wait to see where he gets a job, unless it starts to take a long time. There's no point moving all my things twice if whatever position he finds is out of the area. Still, I'm going to be over there more often, so I'm going to try to make it seem more like a home than a storage space. I see a lot of scrubbing and hopefully some painting in my future.
It is an uncomfortably helpless feeling, seeing how worthless he feels. The man that I love, who has seemed confident of himself and his ambitions as long as I've known him, suddenly appears to have little to no confidence at all. Nothing I can say will reassure him for long. I get frustrated when he asks me to reassure him over and over in a short amount of time, then he apologizes for annoying me, and ...... it makes me feel like a horrid girlfriend, getting irritated when he's so down on himself. We're working on it.
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